Positively Changing

Oh what a year this has been and it’s finally coming together and I’m finally doing me.

A year and a half ago my boyfriend of 3 years passed away in his sleep unexpectedly.  We had just bought a house together, had plans to be together and have a family and just like that it was all gone, everything was gone.  He was 36 years old.

I had my business long before I had met him but he really pushed me to be better and go after my dream.  I slowly started with 7 weddings, to 20, to 35 to 60 and this year to 90.

Not only did I have my own company that completely exploded but I worked another full time job teaching robotics.  I kept telling myself to smile, eventually it would stick.  Dealing with the death of a loved one and family members is not only a terrible situation but so unimaginable of how people show their true colors.   I was told constantly I was nothing and nobody.  There were days where I didn’t want to be here anymore, I wanted to walk away and give it all up.  I was lost and trying so hard to stop crying and deal with it, with all of it.  The bills, the lawyers, family and this business.  What it comes down to is I just did it because I knew I was strong.  I have family and friends that constantly told me how strong I was and I couldn’t give up.

As the wedding season came to an end, I hit my breaking point.  Keeping busy really helped, but it didn’t help me.  I was working 7 days a week, teaching Monday- Friday and then coming home and working on my company and doing weddings on the weekends.  I was losing weight, dehydrated and exhausted.  One of the worst things to hear is,”You look so tired.”  WELL I AM!

So what it came down to is I walked away from teaching.  Ryan always told me to stop and enjoy life; and that’s what I was gonna do.  I worked so hard to put the house in my name, pay off the car and the remodels we had done in the house.  I wanted my life back, I wanted to enjoy my business, my friends, my family and ME.

That’s the whole point of this, start enjoying your life and understand the love you have around you and the world that is around you.  Yes we all have to work, but not so much that you can’t take an hour for yourself to work out, go to the dog park, eat breakfast, read a book.  Don’t forget you need to take care of yourself as well as the others around you.

With courage to walk away from teaching and going full time with my business, I knew it was gonna be hard and I had to set priorities and manage life in a different way, but I told my self to make a list of what I wanted.  When I get to busy I need to stop and read this list and make sure to stick by it.  If I wanted to be happy and feel “normal” again I had to make that happen and I am.

My list:

Just stop and breathe

Enjoy and look around, acknowledge what’s there

Stay off the phone when your out with someone, enjoy that moment

Go to the dog park as much as possible first thing in the morning

Try and take a picture once a month, a good picture with your real camera not your phone.

Plan a vacation

Read before going to bed at night

Cut yourself off from work at a decent time

Drink Water- sounds crazy that I don’t sometimes I get busy

Pay attention to your friends and family- just listen if you need to

Don’t be afraid to say NO

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings, anything is possible and can be gone so fast

Enjoy the life you have, change what you need.  You’re in charge and you can make it happen

Stay positive

And of course… Live. Love. Laugh.

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